Depression? Ki depresyon sa a?

Depression in the Haitian community. Testimonials, insights and resources.

Listen to the episode:

Translated transcript

"When you're depressed, it's like everything is hard, everything is complicated, everything is a mountain."

"Depression is like a weight on your shoulders, like a ball and chain. Depression means you don't feel useful."

Odyans, episode 3

Today on Odyans, we're tackling a rather sensitive and personal matter: mental health. If you feel the need to seek help while listening to the episode, do so with the resources at your disposal: family doctor, therapist, psychiatrist and so on. We'll name a few at the end of the episode.

And now, ann bay odyans...

May 2021. Christina is 33, living her life as a new mother and loving her new job as a civil servant. It should be bliss, but it's not.

"Because I didn't really understand what was happening to me: I was sad every day, I'd start crying even when I was working - I work from home, - I'd answer calls and start crying, but I couldn't find a reason for my sadness. That's why I didn't take it very well at first.

It should be mentioned that a few years earlier, Christina had experienced a depressive episode. But at the time, she was caring for her terminally ill mother, so that was... understandable if you like. But now, with so much going for her, she doesn't see why she's feeling so sad.

"I was judging myself, asking myself , 'What's wrong with you, Christina? You're relatively healthy, you have a child, a husband who loves you, a house, a parent who's still alive, friends who support you: why do you feel this way? "

And so Christina tries to "pick herself up", to "be a woman", as they say. But to no avail. "At first, I thought, OKay Christina, you're just a little down. Met fanm sou ou and you'll be fine. I kept telling myself that and trying, but failing."

"When you're depressed, it's like everything is hard, everything is complicated, everything is a mountain. That's how I lived it, and sometimes I didn't feel like explaining how I felt because I thought people wouldn't understand. They'll just think I'm weak or sad and that I have no reason to feel this way."

When Christina realizes that simply "motivating herself" won't do the trick, she doesn't hesitate: she seeks specialized help, first from a doctor, then from a therapist. She knows the good it can bring. "At the hospital where my mother was treated, I was offered free psychotherapy. It really helped me to get my feelings and emotions about my mother's illness out into the open, and to prepare myself for eventual mourning. I was able to get through all that with the help of therapy."

Now Darley. In May 2022, Darley is 36, with a young child and a wife who loves him. But in his job as a specialized educator, it's been a "descent into hell". Without going into detail, Darley talks about a "chaotic end to the year", which caused him terrible stress. "I began to feel jaded, out of breath, irritable and scattered. I was also having stomach cramps, trouble sleeping, going to work really reluctantly."

Faced with all these problems, Darley doesn't go looking for help. He's a "fighter", who persists in doing what he's always done when under intense stress. "I could see that I was in trouble, and my solution was to play sport and overwork myself. I said to myself: I'm going to work, work and deliver the goods. That was the mindset.

On top of his already pensive nature, Darley becomes withdrawn and abandons his creative side. His wife notices that he is no longer himself. "She could see I was losing interest in the things I loved, like drawing. I was often withdrawn, in my thoughts. In life in general, I'm withdrawn three-quarters of the time. But in this case, I was living in my head and I couldn't get out.

Darley's wife tries to convince him to go and see a doctor. But Darley is hard headed. He's sure his difficulties will pass, like others before them. Plus, he doesn't want to be vulnerable in front of his wife. "When she tried to talk about it with me, I tended to dodge the subject and just go about my business."

Eventually, Darley opens up to his wife. And as a devout Christian, he's been appealing to his Higher Power all along. But as they say in French: what woman wants... " I was praying, but God was answering me that I shouldn't just pray, but also get into action and go and get help."

"My wife told me she knows that I want to finish the year, that it's in my nature to want to finish what I start. But she also said that I have to think about my health too. I thought about it a lot. Then, on May 27, I decided to meet with a doctor.

Christina and Darley are among the millions of Canadians affected by some form of psychological distress since COVID-19. In a survey conducted by the Public Health Agency of Canada in early 2021, 1 in 5 adults in the country tested positive for major depression or generalized anxiety disorder.

But what is depression really? Psychologist Ashrah Lucas explains. "For someone to be diagnosed with depression, they must have two of the following symptoms: either a depressive mood, a feeling of sadness, emptiness, hopelessness and crying all day or else a marked loss of interest and pleasure, and in all daily activities. It must also last for at least 14 days. It must also present at least four of the following symptoms: weight loss or gain, significant loss or gain of appetite, insomnia or hypersomnia, psychomotor slowing or agitation, fatigue or loss of energy throughout the day, feelings of guilt, worthlessness, difficulty thinking, memory lapses, suicidal ideation."

Is depression what we call a depressive mood? Not quite, says Dr. Lucas. "Depression is really a diagnosis. It has to meet the criteria mentioned earlier. Whereas a depressive mood, it's normal for anyone to be more depressed at times. But when it persists over time, when it lasts, that's when you can call it depression."

Being depressed is hard enough. But to be depressed AND Afro-descendant is pretty complicated. Complicated to live with and complicated to make people understand.

Christina:

"People will just think I'm weak or sad. They'll say, 'Why are you crying? You're fine, you've got a husband, a healthy child, a good job, a house to live in.""

Darley:

"I talked to my parents about it, they understood that I was tired, but at the same time, they were like "fò ou met gason sou ou [you have to be a man, Editor's note]. You know, you've got a wife and kids".

There are several factors behind these attitudes, notes psychologist Ashrah Lucas. "There's the fear and shame associated with having a mental health disorder like depression. Often, we'll say that we're sick. We like to think of ourselves as strong people. We are, but the concept of vulnerability is scary. We don't want to be vulnerable. And, let's face it, we're in a minority - at least in Quebec - and there are often negative stereotypes associated with being black. So adding the fact of being depressed is like saying it's too much and we want to "keep that for white people".

We also trivialize the fact that we're not doing well. We tell ourselves that "that's life". This contributes to our reluctance to see ourselves as mentally ill. And we're very much in action mode, in go-go-go mode: work, kids, the commute-work-sleep routine. That's what gives us value as black people in Western society. But thinking about your mental health takes time. But things are slowly changing. I see it in my patients. I have some who admit to being vulnerable. Some patients are "tired of being the strong woman".

If a loved one seems to be depressed, it doesn't help to "shake them up", to encourage them to "pick themselves up". Take it from those who've been there. "Depression isn't weakness or laziness. It's not a lack of willpower. It's not a matter of simply pulling yourself together. No, it's a health issue."

It's all about listening. And in a caring way, as Ashra Lucas explains. " 

Thanks to therapy, treatment and the support of those close to her, Christina was able to turn her life around. Today, she feels much better than she did 2 years ago. "It's like night and day. I'm able to project myself into the future, something I couldn't do when I was depressed. I'm doing activities, I'm creating opportunities to go out, I'm picking up my son from daycare, I'm playing with him more, I'm expressing my emotions more, I'm laughing a lot more, I've rediscovered a taste for writing, I'm able to read, which I haven't been able to do since 2021 because it requires concentration and my concentration was challenged when I was in depression, I'm fine."

Darley, too, is doing better, thanks in part to the help of a social worker. And he has a message for Afro-descendants. "We're not Wakandans! We can be vulnerable. We need to talk. Sometimes, it's by talking that we realize we're not doing well and that we can take action. Recently, a friend of mine, a young man who went to church, committed suicide and left a note. I took it very hard, and everyone is surprised that depression struck within our ranks, even at church. But no one is exempt. So take care of yourself and your loved ones. When they tell you they're not well, listen to them."

If you recognize yourself in our episode and are looking for help, there are resources, like Info-Santé (811), or your family doctor, or even help on the Ordre des psychologues du Québec website at O-R-D-R-E-P-S-Y dot Q-C dot C-A

Don't hesitate to seek help.

Odyans is written, produced and directed by Christina Dabel and me, Ralph-Bonet Sanon. We'd like to say a big thank you to Ashrah Lucas of the Papineau Psychology Clinic. You can contact her at ashrahlucas.psychologie@gmail.com or 438-882-8802. And I'd personally like to thank Darley and Christina for their invaluable testimonials.

Legal deposit, Bibliothèque et Archives nationales du Québec, 2024